Blog: America’s Next President?

So, last year, my country of Singapore voted for our parliament. It was kind of a clusterfuck of an election due to what seems to be gerrymandering and a slew of far-leftist that derailed national conversation on important issues. The entire fiasco lasted maybe 6 months, which I thought dragged on too long.

By the end of the election, I was frustrated and mad, because there was an obvious logical flaw within our voting process that undermined the value of our democracy and vote. I decided to finally read deeply into politics. One of my first move was to follow the presidential primary in America, what I’ve heard of as the greatest democracy on Earth.

I wanted information. I wanted comparison. A large democratic nation in the midst of an election to decide one of the most powerful person on Earth? That seems like a sound start.

Little did I know that I was about to follow a clusterfuck so great it made the one in my country look like the alcohol content in plain water compared to Russian spirits.

Honestly, what the flying fuck is going on there? Before last year, I was so uninterested in politics that I often mixed up gerrymandering and jerrycans. And I’m not even from America, so as far as newcomers go, I’m as fresh as fresh eyes gets.

Now, I’m not the smartest pea in the pod, but I am by far one of the most logical. And I’m saying that what’s happening in the U.S.A right now is entirely illogical. It’s borderline insane.

1. The Candidates

What can I say about the front-runners? I mean, out of what seems like hundreds of candidates to choose from in the beginning, these are the two America ended up with?

On one hand, you have the racist, insufferably arrogant, million dollars inheriting “builder” business man, Donald Trump, that looks like a cross between Deadpool’s hand after being cut off and grown back fused with the blood of demons.

#RestingAssface

And in the other corner is a woman who, from all I’ve seen and read of her, has basically lied her way into office while being so obviously bribed by the financial sector that if you neon lasered dickbutt on the moon it wouldn’t be as striking an act. Oh, and she’s under federal criminal investigation.

If Hilary Clinton was in Singapore, she would be in jail a year ago for violating national security and secrecy. And if Donald Trump ran here, he would be in jail for causing radical dissent in race relation and inciting terrorism.

No jokes here. Her smiles are the stuff of nightmares.

Yet somehow, the other much more viable candidates like Bernie Sanders (who is not an extreme left, but a centrist) and John Kasich (who, though not great, is better than the rest) are left behind.

It’s the equivalent of saying, “I need to buy a new pencil to write with. Well, I guess this pistol will do the trick.”

2. The Voting Discrepancy

I’m not saying there’s election fraud going on in America right now. I’m just saying that if the lights at a traffic junction both turned green and caused a road accident, I’m not going to shout, “Oh, look! The lights are working!”

For example, there is the fact that the exit polls of the democratic primary election being way, way, waaaaaay past the margin of error. Exit polls are not normal polling. They are basically done on the moment of exit by asking votes who they voted for. Short of actually counting the votes, this is the most accurate way to gauge voters.

Aside from, you know, actually using a 12 GAUGE shotgun on voters.

Over the years, exit polls have become near exact science. The standard margin of error (MoE) is about 4%. Any more than that and it would be a statistical improbability. I’m not overstating this either. If the exit polls are more than 4% off either side, that means almost 1 in 10 people lied!

Tens of millions of people would have to collective lie about who they voted for. That’s 10,000,000, at least! And right now, from what I understand, half of the democratic primaries are beyond the expectation of the MoE! That’s insane! If this kind of error happened in any other country, there would be scandals and riots and government investigation.

Basically, everyone would have to cake, that’s what I’m saying.

Not to mention the fact that by now, nearly a million people have been prevented from voting by purging these people from the voter roll.

And there’s also the weird phenomenon of people wanting to vote for Hillary Clinton because she’s a woman. That has got to be the most sexist thing I’ve every heard! You vote for a person base on their abilities, not their gender.

And somehow, apparently, this is all…normal?

3. The World Crisis

A female president, yes. But a female president that wants to arm the middle-east? No. Yet, from everything I’ve read and heard of her, that’s exactly what Hillary Clinton wants to do.

As for Donald Trump? While the danger or religious extremist continues to spread, is a man as racist as Trump really the best option for, not just the U.S.A, but the world?

Like a walking giant Cheetos. Baby fingers included.

The general perception from pretty much the whole world right now is that if Hillary Clinton is elected, nothing will really change and things will just continue to deteriorate. If Trump is elected, we can pretty much stock up for World War 3. That’s not hyperbole there. That’s literal. Even in a highly conservative country like Singapore, the general consensus still do not have a high opinion of the two frontrunners.

4. No, Really, What’s Going On?

I’m not kidding. Even after going through and following this “race” so far, nothing makes sense to me. It’s like America is trying to make peace with the world, but the country unanimously decided that the best way to save as many people as possible is take an assault rifle and unload everything into its own foot.

America, you might not know this – because we all know you think Australia is somewhere along your west coast – but the world is watching this election. And depending on the outcome, millions of lives might be at stake.

Best case scenario of America’s geographical knowledge.
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