Detective Crazy

That title should be the name of a story or something. Yeah, I could use that. But no, that’s not what I wanted to write about today. I have bipolar disorder. With that comes a slew of weird personality quirks, including obsessive compulsive behavior. One of these is that I have to have a clean inbox for my email address. I’ll mark everything as read, even the junk mail. Seeing any bold words in my email inbox makes my skin crawl. So imagine my surprise when I woke up today to find this.



What’s that you ask? A wall of words longer than my usual wall of words? No, that’s my inbox toady. Apparently, a kind soul had decided to watch and review all my videos on YouTube! Wow! I wonder what intricate, thought provoking things they had to say that required a wall of notifications?


I guess I should explain a little. They had commented that same comment on one of my videos earlier that day. The video was one of my old sparring videos. I practice armed martial arts see. Like katana, knives, longsword etc. It was really more of a video for my training circle than anyone. Now I admit, I did antagonize them a little. I did ask them (nicely) to come down and try it out, and offered them the chance beat the loving shit out of us nerds. It was one of those nice, sarcastic put downs that writers and comedians do to shut people up. It was one of those replies meant as a joke. No big deal, forgot about it the next second kind of thing. Guess this one didn’t really get the hint across.

Of course being the forgiving person I am, I decided to ignore their comments and went on my way, since YouTube has kindly decided to mark the channel as spam and he has already been reported…


No, just kidding. I’m a vengeful bastard. I’m also insane (read: bipolar mania) and thorough (read: obsessive compulsive). The thing with internet annoymity is that it only works if the person on the other side of the screen is dumber than you are. I don’t hide behind a moniker anymore since I wanted my BD to be open. Also, I have a nice collection of sharp knives and shiny katanas in gun-free Singapore (see: martial arts) so I’m pretty confident about my chances in a fight.

See, they had only one subscriber on YouTube, which I used as my first lead. I searched Google for his YouTube account name, with a few modification in the advance search function. Found two of the same name on Google+, one of which had only one follower, which coincides with the account only having one subscriber. After that, well, it was a combination of Facebook cross referencing, Chrome’s ‘inspect element’ function with my code reading skills, and scouring through the internet for similar account names (which resulted in one embarrassing BF2 KD ration of 0.56) resulting in their name, email, and place of address!

Of course, by now you, my dear readers, must have realized that I have been using ‘they’, ‘them’ and ‘their’. That’s to protect their identity. That’s because despite the fact that I have their personal information, I decided not to do shit with it. It’s one of the harmless things I do to let of steam at being pissed on. I think having their account marked as spam is good enough for me.

But the point of me saying all this is simple. I’m crazy. And we don’t know who else out there in the world wide web might also be like me, just less forgiving. So to protect yourselves and the ones you love, don’t be an asshole. Feel free to go to sapphireblade’s YouTube channel and tell him to ‘Be Nice!’ or just find them in Battlefield and shoot them in the harmless digital head. Your choice.


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