Woah, I’m doing this again. Didn’t expect to continue this topic so quickly but the situation got too good to past up. Had a terribly tough week and ended up almost unable to finish Chapter 16 for 139: In Evening. I won’t get into the details of the days but I was pretty angry by the time Thurday hit. If you’re a follower of my In Evening serial on JukePop, I’d suggest you read the new chapter before continue with this post to avoid some spoilers.
Basically, I was given an unfair amount of workload on a supposed rotational schedule with flimsy reasoning. I hammered through the work and while writing Chapter 16 last night, I fell asleep at the computer about eight times out of sheer exhaustion. Mania has a downside in that after going through it, you enter what I like to call ‘mania fatigue’. Basically, in mania, your body burns through energy, both psychologically and physically, faster than normal. On the up side, you get a burst of strength while under mania that helped people like me tunnel through copious workload.
But I also use this energy to help me write, which is why if you read the chapter, you can see I have an influx of speed in the middle of that chapter. It’s where I fell asleep, woke up, mania burst writing, and fell asleep again. Sure, it helped me finish the chapter on time, but it was extremely tiring, and the quality, as I’ve said before, isn’t exactly up to my usual standard. Also, I’m about 100 words shorter than my average, making chapter 16 my shortest chapter so far if I’m not mistaken.
In writing, as it will be in daily life, any ‘disability’ can become a strength, so long as you learn to control it. But bipolar is also a double edged sword, and living with it requires a lot of balancing our the day-to-day activities. But without it, I might not be as good as a writer as I am today.